one hundred + twenty four thousand words.

so. it's the beginning of that rather [psuedo]frantic time. it's that time at the end of semester when the joy of teaching is replaced by the frustration of marking. on monday, i counted 124,000 words to be marked. this task would be less daunting if students these days were taught to write correctly. once i deposited one subject's assessment with the rightful co-ordinator yesterday afternoon, i was left with a mere 96,000 words.

for one with such a fondness of words, there comes a point when i start to wish that someone would insert chilli-tipped needles in my eyes. and it would be preferable if they were nicely heated under a flame first.

as part of my actively-seeking-out-distractions slash avoidance tactics [for example, chatting to the lizards under my fridge], i distract myself by analysing elisabeth kübler-ross's five stages of grading. let's see what they are:

1. denial - when i am unwilling to acknowledge, and grossly underestimate the size of, the task ahead. yes. this might be where i float.

2. anger - this begins when the task begins. the first few pieces of assessment seem ok. then the errors become thick. i become disillusioned. i start yelling sarcasm at the paper in front of me [why i use pencil, not red pen.] yes. this might also be the first sign of madness. i'm yet to have that confirmed.

3. bargaining - now this is the bit where i fall down. and i seem to always fail. i do, honestly, try and buckle down + assess. however, i am a magnet for distractions. even if i try methods such as "i'll mark five more, and then i can have a treat." halfway through the first... i'm in dire need of that treat. does this make 3 redundant?

4. depression - this tends to seep into the equation when i realise that i am not going to get the assignments completed in time. i work on me-time. this differs significantly from normal time. and if i'm not going to get them done, then why not just put them aside? and write a blog entry, instead. [chocolate is good for depression. it has good stuff in it that brings on happiness. so there's the answer to all my problems. i should have known.]

5. acceptance - or reality. i'm just going to have to suffer through it. the end.

however, kübler-ross could do with introducing a sixth stage of grading: the problem with wikipedia. this lies, inevitably, under the heading of procrastination. [which actually just encompasses all of the above, when you think about it.]

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anyway, for the next two nights, i'm going to put the marking aside to go see some [locally grown] live music - rattlehand tonight, then pensive penguin's ep launch tomorrow. oh. and on sunday afternoon it's more.

and marking of 96,000 words? they'll get done. and they'll probably get done faster if i stop confusing my work with distractions. or the other way round.

i'll figure it out one day.